The House Of Troy

When I was a kid I was exposed to far too much Bob Dylan. I'd go to people's houses and ask why Dylan wasn't playing. I knew the words to Tangled Up and Blue before I went to school.

I never thought I'd have children. I was not bothered. Then some sort of darwinian flu hit me. Now I can't imagine life without my wee boy. I'm annoyed by the way a child melts all cynicism. You can't rant and rave when a child is on your lap asking you to read a story. You have this little person who wants filling full of nifty stuff. Your whole personality changes.

It seems The Boy likes music. We have to have "dancing hour" every day. I make a playlist of different stuff every day. Nothing beats watching a toddler dance to indie tunes. Here is this weekend's tunes.

1. Digital

2.Debaser

3. Andy Warhol

4. Is There a Ghost

5. Jeane

6. The Sickbed of Cuchulainn


7. Tangled Up and Blue


8. Step and Walk


9. You Made Me Realise

10. Shoplifters Of The World

• 14:52 I volunteered to babysit my niece tonight. Yay! #
• 15:01 @rockin_steadily Save me some snow... #
• 17:26 Man! Today I am in a great mood! The world is my oyster!!!! #
• 18:21 @Elementality Ack.... I have no patience for puzzles.... #
• 18:21 Spyke where are you?!? #
• 23:40 My little angel sleeping. tweetphoto.com/7352138 #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

( Tweets from Twitter if you're interested... )

I've had a lot going through my head lately. Between the new job and all it's office politics, drama and back stabbing along with the major financial issues it is just so hard to deal with life lately.

I hear a lot of people supporting the new laws about limiting pay day loans. I've even heard people say that they should be illegal. Well if it wasn't for those very pay day loans I would be homeless right now. I've had to take some out here and there but I always pay them back. What exactly is someone like me with poor credit and no credit cards supposed to do when there is a pay or evict notice on their door? Which we get monthly now days. We have no family here (my sister lost everything and had to move back in with our mother in Oklahoma). No one we can turn to for help. My mother has tapped herself out of all of her savings trying to help everyone in the family and we simply will not ask her to help us anymore because we know she will. I love her too much to watch her be penniless after how hard she has worked and still works.

I'm not asking anyone for help so please don't offer. I'm just expressing some of what is in my head lately.

I am hoping this next year will be better. J and I are struggling so hard to get out of debt. I want so much to send money to my mother for once. I would love to send her a check for $1k and I want it to be money we worked for and not just a loan for a loan. I don't like borrowing from people. I really don't like owing people and I already owe Rose a print, sylverstone for hosting my web site, my mom money and more. It's so frustrating when people do things to help you and you can't even keep your end of things because the situation remains the same.

I'm exhausted all the time. I've had bronchitis for almost 2 months now despite the 3 doses of antibiotics that the docs have given me. I just want to sleep for a week and wake up refreshed and ready to fight the world again.

But maybe I'm going about this all wrong? Maybe I shouldn't be fighting the world? Am I having so much trouble because of how hard I fight? What is it that all those people who are making it day to day doing that I am not? I try putting money in savings but it comes right back out to buy gas or pay some emergency bill. We don't exactly have a lot of bills. We don't have car payments. Hell.. I'm even driving around without car insurance and have been for nearly a year because we couldn't afford it and had to let it drop.

I will say one thing though. We, as a family, have pulled together and find joy in our time with each other. Even in cheap little board games there is something enjoyable. And we managed to scrap up $150 to buy kiddo a game system for Yule. She was so very happy because she had accepted we wouldn't be able to buy her anything at all because of finances. Of course this game system caused a pay day loan but it was worth it to see that smile. :D

Now off to bed. I just can't seem to get enough sleep lately.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Tweets from @Rob_Thurman (probably of a useless and irrelevant nature. Beware.)

10:46 After sleeping on it,decided Sherlock was my favorite movie of 09,unless I've forgotten 1, which is possible.Senile dog is rubbing off on me #

10:48 :) @shilohwalker @Rob_Thurman Roadkill was very, very, very good. Am already planning a re-read. One character really broke my heart. #

13:09 It was so damn good I think I had my first M.O. Funny as hell, nonstop action. ROCKED @shilohwalker @Rob_Thurman was Sherlock Holmes good? #

13:20 Roadkill quote: Niko: I am not your maid. How do I know this? A maid cannot kill you with a tube sock. I can. #

13:23 & it's back to work.How writers roll, holidays R rare.Favorite present: RDJ & Jude Law's sniping & PJs that say 'I love my bed.' Truer words #

17:01 don't see why not. No sex, no nudity, no cursing. violence isn't graphic @shilohwalker curious.. you think it would be okay for a 10 y.o.? #

20:15 I've been singing that song since yesterday. Hothothot @marjoriemliu awesomeness that is SHERLOCK HOLMES. RDJ and JL are BFF and so very hot #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Monday through Wednesday: I'm drinking Tylenol and pill-popping tylenol. Ryan's checking up on me now and again, always ready to refill my icewater. I eat some crackers, I eat toast. I drowse occasionally for 30 to 60 minute spells. I have a folded up piece of gauze directly under my nostrils and taped to my cheeks, bloodying about 7 or 8 of these dressings the first days, and maybe one less each consecutive day. Got an antinausea patch behind an ear (I did NOT want to be hurling with tampons up my nose!) Not taking the narcotic pain meds because, yeah!- they'd work (past experience here), but then I'd have to constantly be running my drugged up body to the bathroom every 5 minutes.

Wednesday through Saturday: Ryan's running an on/off fever, congested, coughing. Told him I love him dearly and to stay the hell away from me. If you lifted up my gauze dressing, you'd see that my upper lip was smiling when I said that to him!

Some concerns that I don't think are psychosomatic: the doctor/surgeon who did this came highly recommended by others who've had this surgery. Legally, he has to explain possible side effects no matter how remote. The three biggies were brain damage- as the sinuses are very closely situated next to the brain, vision impairment or blindness- as the sinuses are close to the optic nerves and such, and of course death- never awakening from anaesthesia.

I've noticed that there's a little spot on the roof of my mouth that completely devoid of sensation, kind of strange feeling. Unfortunately, I've noted some vision loss. I wear contacts during the day and my glasses for only early morning/late evening at home. With both, I can see far away and read a book held in my hands. Since the surgery, I see far away just fine, but when it comes to reading a book (just finished rereading New Moon) or the fine print on Rx bottles, my eyes can't focus at all. I have to remove my glasses to read with naked eyes. Ryan said not to freak out just yet- I have a heckovalotta swelling going on in my head, not to mention two big cotton tampons stuffed up my schnoz so high I can't see them, as well as a few splints sutured in to straighten out my nose(which was "s" shaped, by the way- weird!). All of this may be what messing about with my vision. If so and I can get my reading vision back- great! If not, oh well, I guess. I'll have to invest in some wildly decorated reading glasses.

Christmas: Ryan's mentioned a toy he used to have- a little biplane with Snoopy piloting- that his mom got rid of at a garage sale years ago. Found one dated 1965 on Ebay. Also on Ebay: a pair of light cotton jersey lounge paints that are baby blue with images of Snoopy flying all over them, hunting the green baron. Guess what pants my beloved has worn for 2 days now?! :o) I also found a stocking (it's freakin' HUGE) that someone handmade from WWII aircraft fabric. I stuff it surrepticiously last Friday with snacks, candy, and a card.

Ryan got me Star Trek Scene It!, a tight black ladies shirt with the Star Trek delta on it, a huge mug and tight white ladies shirt both emblazoned with Big Bang Theory's rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock (look it up on zazzle.com!). He also got some Pon Farr perfume from thinkgeek.com for me. I have absolutely NO IDEA how it smells currently, but I'm looking forward to that experience! One last thing- as he introduced me to Big Bang Theory (LOOOOVE that show!), we have regular date to watch it every week. We were cooking recently and the plastic spout/lid of maple syrup I think it was, just popped right off the bottle- it wasn't near a heat source, and neither of us had touched it- it just popped up. We both looked at each other and said "Weird". We then tried to figure out why that had happened. At an impasse, I put on a Penny-face and said "Sheldon would know why that happened." Epiphany time! I said that would make a fabuouls tshirt- a picture of Sheldon and underneath him "Sheldon Would Know"- the s, w, and k being bold and underlined. As a gag, Ryan whipped out this picture and printed it out on an iron transfer to be applied to another tight, white ladies shirt.

So- looking forward to being FULLY healed and having all of you Trekkie/Trekkers over for a potluck and an afternoon of Star Trek Scene it someday soon!

Correction...all that live in NYC or have in the past. Do you guys have any suggestions for Cal and Niko's new place. I don't think I like them living in a decent apartment. I want to get them back to the grunge-living. Where would a good dilapidated, fairly run-down place be...would love a non-converted (or started converting and ran out of money in this economy) warehouse-ish type place with few or no other tenants. It's a lot to ask, I know, but it's getting difficult figuring out how to smuggle dead bodies out of their new place.

were the explicit hints about two dimensional time (No spoilers). The conventional time line is not set and evolves from past to future, but rather, it's a space-like "now" where everything in some sense happens in parallel, simultaneously, and this timeline evolves in a second time coordinate so there's constantly fresh action in the past as well as the future.

Something I’ve been meaning to do for a while is illustrate a calendar, and I figured the easiest way to do this would be to make a desktop wallpaper with a calendar each month. I’ve posted January’s at Calobee Doodles:

Originally published at sixhours.net. Please leave any comments there.

• 07:59 So who got snow for Christmas? #
• 14:59 Time to start working on my New Years resolutions for 2010. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

( Tweets from Twitter if you're interested... )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

I need to clean up my bookmarks. I'm pretty sure I don't need this one anymore.